Saturday, March 26, 2011

this is why i don't wanna be a dentist

I'm back! Yes, I'm still alive. Sorry for the long absence. Health Sciences First Year's not a walk in a park, especially when your memory relating to Physics stuffs has long been buried since 2009. Anyhoo, Dunedin's getting colder now that it's autumn already, and I went to class breathing out condensed water vapour. Awesome. Will post autumn-related photos to make you jelly later.

Yes, this entry is about my problematic tooth. I freakin don't understand why I keep having dental problems despite using flosses and Listerine and Darlie Lemon Fresh Whatever. I would like to blame the copious amount of soft drinks I chugged last week for celebration purposes, but then again, maybe it's just those damned natural selection survivors lurking in my premolar, wanting to take revenge over their defeat in the last antibiotic war. I TOLD that government clinic dentist to extract my tooth back in Malaysia, but he didn't want to, saying it's unethical and stuffs. Will definitely not go to a government dental clinic anymore after this. So yeah, last Sunday my tooth was giving off warnings about an impending infection, but I thought it won't be that bad. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen? Turns out the next day, the worst thing happened. I was forced to be bedridden, crying and screaming bloody murder as the nasty little microbes gnaw their way through my tissues. Being the painkiller junkie that I am, I even took 10 tablets of paracetamol in less than 24 hours, much to the dismay of my liver and kidneys. At one point I was even thinking of calling the ambulance so that I could be taken to A&E and get myself a nice shot of antibiotic. And goddamn morphine. Anything to keep those little buggers quiet.

The next day, following the advice from a senior (who's also suffering from a crippling toothache), I went to the uni's Dental School, hoping that I could go home with an antibiotic prescription. I was told that there's a lot of people waiting to get their treatment that day, and it would probably take about half a day before I could finally meet the dentist. I thought what the hell, I have CELS lecture at 4, might be missing my only chance to see Adrien in class, so I postponed my appointment to Wednesday. Thinking that I might be exhausting my reservoir of paracetamol that night, I stopped by Albany Street Pharmacy to get more painkillers because self-medication is awesome. Gosh, the assistant pharmacist is damn cute! With a soothing and mesmerizing voice! He gave me Panadeine for my pain (thank God for opiate!) and I went to my CELS lecture only to discover that Adrien was not there. Sheesh.

On Wednesday, my tooth was getting a bit better, but I went for my appointment anyway. The staffs (dental students?) were very friendly, but I didn't make much attempt at conversations since I couldn't bother lifting my aching jaw. Oh, did I mention about having my lymph nodes swollen? Anyhoo, after going through my medical history and obtaining a radiograph of my lower left jaw, the lovely dentist confirmed the fact that my premolar was indeed infected. No antibiotics whatsoever this time, you either get extraction or root canal. Since I couldn't be bothered to have multiple dental appointments after this, I chose the easier (and cheaper) option: get that damned tooth out of my mouth.

In the Oral Surgery department, I was put under the care of a lovely dental student, who did her best to make me feel comfortable. She kept asking me whether I was okay, and assured me that I was "doing really good". What a pleasant dentist she would be someday. Her tutor came and supervised her throughout the anaesthesia procedure, and I heard her saying something like "rotating, superior, posterior...", possibly giving instructions to the student about how to yank off my tooth properly. I was a bit nervous (of course I was! It's my first time and I have a student pulling out my tooth!) but she told me I was doing really good so yeah. Everything went okay initially (I even asked for extra anaesthesia just for the hell of it) until I noticed that she was having difficulties with my tooth. After several minutes of yanking and rotating, there were no signs of my tooth getting loose from its socket, so her tutor came in and helped her. Just a bit though, didn't want to ruin the whole learning process. Second attempt after 15 minutes, still unsuccessful. Her tutor asked her to use another tool, and she continued to work on my tooth for about ten minutes more. Still no progress. Despite the anaesthesia, I could feel my nerves being pulled, and all those yanking and rotating made me feel like they would dislocate my jaw any time from now. More "you're doing really good" followed.

One peculiar thing about the dental clinic was that they didn't have any suction devices to suck out the saliva and blood from my mouth. They just kept dabbing my mouth with gauze to keep it relatively dry (I don't think a gauze is efficient enough to do that). At this point, the smell of blood was too much for me; I even felt a wave of nausea hitting me whenever they shove those bloody gauze into my mouth. Worse still, the gauze left a trail of bloody saliva across my cheek. I felt extremely uncomfortable, and tried to direct my attention to other things, but the smell of blood kept distracting me. More rotating and pulling action, still no remarkable result.

Another dentist (male, possibly Muslim) came into the room to see what took them so long to pull out my teeth. The student, possibly too nervous, managed to chip off the filled part of my tooth, which caused me to groan in distress. For no apparent reason, a drop of tear suddenly escaped from my eye! What's wrong with my tooth? What's with the army of dentists invading the room like I was some sort of a case study? What's that chipping noise again? Why the hell am I crying?? To make things worse, they noticed me crying, and the mak cik cleaner (who was also in the room - God knows why she was also there) gave me some tissues to wipe off my tears. Instant humiliation!

The tutor worked on my tooth for a little while before giving up, and passed the bloody job to her colleague, a young Chinese man. After what seemed to be an infinity, he finally managed to extract my tooth. Everybody in the room could not contain their relief and actually cheered! Now that's something new - dentists cheering in an op room like they had just delivered a baby. And I actually cried tears of joy like I almost gave birth to a baby! Sheesh, gila awkward. I glanced at the wall clock behind me - it was 4.20 p.m. (lol 420) and I was late for my meeting with Dr. Brunton. What the hell. After calculations I realized that they took a whole 1 hour to pull out my premolar. No wonder why they bloody cheered. Isk.

I went home without any antibiotic/painkiller prescriptions. With blood-stained face, I walked aimlessly around the campus, contemplating whether or not I should attend my HUBS lecture. Alas, I decided that I was too stoned to do HUBS, Adrien or no Adrien, and headed straight to Toroa. All hell broke loose after an hour when the anaesthesia wore off, and I moaned and cried my heart out in pain, alone in the room, thinking why the hell can't they just give me antibiotics.

The next day, I had a nasty post-op infection. Two days later, I went to get them checked only to discover that I may won't be able to claim my insurance because they didn't keep a record on the dentist who treated me on Wednesday. Up until now, the extraction site was still painful and filled with pus.

One hour and four dentists later, this.


At this point, I sincerely miss Malaysian dentists.
Alice

p/s: I'm not trying to say that dental care in NZ sucks - it's not, you see, the dentists are very lovely. It's just that, well, I was hoping for something better. But then again I went to a dental school so what do you expect kan.

Monday, March 14, 2011

let's go back in the time machine... to ancient India...

Taken from my old blog on Friendster (lol gila ancient!):

Every single psy-trance headz know and realize the fact that this particular sub-genre of dance music is heavily related with drugs. Hell, I do realize this too, ever since I first fell in love with it. People say that psy-trance is LSD, and LSD is psy-trance. Heck, what did they know about it?

For me, I didn’t approve the idea of psy-trance is drug music. Hell, I know psy-trancers all over the world took LSD in the middle of a Full Moon party [I didn't], but isn’t the music more enjoyable without lysergic acid diethylamide? A lot of people thought that "Oh, if I take acid I’ll slip into a trip so that my senses will be more sensitive and I’ll experience the true beauty of psy-trance". Yeah yeah… wait till you experience bad trip.

Let me tell you something, you don’t necessarily need acid to experience real trance-like effects. Oh, and hell, I’m not only talking about the psy-trance community and acid alone, I’m talking about the whole dance music community, bet you take acid or E or GHB or crack or whatever. If you really wanna enjoy the music even more, all you got to do is listen it with your ears and your heart. That one always work, for me. If you still can’t feel it, try listening it with the aid of some multi-sense tools (that’s a geeky double talk for visuals). That’s why God created VJs — to help you enjoy the music without drugs of course. Psy-trance lovers can always enjoy the music by listening it by headphones, and sit in front of psychedelic visuals on TV/ computer/ LCD projector/ plasma screens [the bigger the better]. Hard to find such visuals? Winamp AVS will help you, for sure. Or just drag the Kurst VJs into your home [or you can always go to ALT*CTRL, a visual festival in UK. Or similar events...]

Well actually, you can get a lot of benefits if you ditch drugs. I don’t wanna say it in an old mama way, but anyways. First of all, of course, you won’t experience bad trip. And the risk of being OD’ed to death. And then, you can always save your money to buy Final Scratch if you’re a vinyl hardcore fan, or even upgrade your TT to SL1210MK5G [or if you prefer, SLDZ1210]. Then again, you don’t have to be a fugitive by running away from policemen. And best of all, there will be no such RAVE act in the USA. Oh, you might even end up being Paul van Dyk and be the No.1 DJ in the world, even being the next German president or something. Remember, PvD don’t take drugs.

Well, I don’t wanna nag more here. If you still can’t leave those acid/E/GHB/ice crack/such and such, just take this simple step. Take 20 Panadols and wash them down with Coke. You’ll definitely fell into a massive trancelike state…. with slim chance of recovery, that is. Oh never mind, you can always resume your trip in heaven. Hell, maybe.



I can't believe I wrote this when I was 13. Seven years later and I'm preaching the entheogenic properties of LSD already! Hahaha. Well, you can still say I'm an anti-drugs person (lol that's kinda hard to believe isn't it), but psychedelics have at least some benefits to mankind so yeah. Just don't take drugs for the sake of drugging yourself, if you know what I mean. You still have DMT in your brain. Use that.


Don't let Hofmann cry in his grave, he wrote LSD: My Problem Child already
Alice

Monday, February 21, 2011

dunedin

Hi! Sorry for the long absence. 16 February was my departure date, and I haven't been able to be online until yesterday. No free WiFi here apart from the uni connection, so while waiting for our connections to set up (which, we initially thought, would miraculously set up on its own without us needing to do something about it) I basically spend the whole day going thrift shopping around Dunedin, and watching back-to-back Fringe episodes at night - all the while trying not to freeze myself to death of course.

So yeah, so far Dunedin is lovely. Very lovely, in fact, far beyond my expectations. If you're wondering, I was expecting Dunedin to be some sort of a boring countryside with no proper places to do my favourite activity (read: shopping). Way to go for not doing my homework before flying haha. Turns out Dunedin is a shopping paradise, in a way - God knows how much money I have spent buying thrift store items, gadgets at student prices/Mydin prices (Lava lamp for NZD 15! 3-in-1 printer for NZD 39! 1TB external hard disk for NZD 95! Brother sewing machine for NZD 189! Oh wait, I didn't buy that sewing machine, it's in my wishlist. Must. Stop. Compulsive. Buying.), food items, stuffs from Kmart, etc. Some of them are even cheaper that the ones I could get at Malaysia! (Side note: well ah of course when you convert the prices, they're more or less the same, but remember Miss Ain's Golden Rule: Jangan convert nanti takleh hidup!) Halal meals are also very easy to find here, so dining will not be that much of a problem (we cook for ourselves, so yeah. Halal foodstuffs are everywhere).

Contoh masakan halal yang sedap lagi awesome.

I live in a residential college, the lovely Toroa College, which is awesome to the max (despite my previous whines about that RM7000 thingie. But yeah, worth RM7000 I tell you!). I get to live with Amal, Alia, Linda and Hannan, which makes living here much easier since we've known each other long enough already. Downstairs, we have 3 other Malaysian students - Michelle, Elfira and Felicia, so it's easier for our seniors and JPA officers as well when it comes to settling scholarship/ Malaysian student-related things with us. And oh, we're also under the care of a Malaysian RA, Sim. Not to mention the very caring Malaysian seniors living nearby. We're lucky like that.

My flatmates

Our very lovely house. We live upstairs.

My room also happened to be the most regularly shaped in the house, if not the biggest (lol). It's a very cozy room, and I get to decorate it as psychedelic as I could :P

door is decorated for Toroa College's Pimp My Door comp so haha!

room is big enough for me to be happy :D

I just have to put em here! XP (note the pharmtox info sheet on the left)

Since we don't have much activities this week apart from the English diagnostics test, preliminary lectures and the orientation activities this weekend, we spent the last few days doing, um, what else but tourist activities! Take lots of pictures! XD







The roses are very awesome here btw. Macam bunga kertas kat Malaysia. They're everywhere.

Psychedelic-wise, I haven't mingled with the people here that much so I don't really know much about psy culture here. As far as I could observe, people here LOVE dubstep. And alcohol - alcohol is a very serious problem here in Dunedin. The university, however, has a club named The Shamanic Circle which, as the name suggests, does shamanic things in sacred places surrounded by candles etc. May also include lucid dreaming, astral projection/OOBE, technoshamanism and getting Shpongled. Sounds highly awesome, but I doubt it'll be good for my faith here. I am, after all, still a Muslim.

There's a strong cannabis culture here as well, headlined by the uni's own NORML movement. Not that I'm remotely interested, but yeah, like I mentioned before (not here I guess, it's somewhere in my MINDS debate notes on legalizing pot) these dudes are like our cousin because marijuana is a mild psychedelic, and, er, so there. Thanks to this, there's a cool shop on George Street named Cosmic Corner, a strong supporter of cannabis legalization, which also sells Salvia. Gosh, Salvia FGS.

Psychedelic, albeit not psy enough for me. But they do have Salvia *emphasis on Salvia*

Haha, enough with the psychedelic babbles. So far, I'm loving Dunedin already, but classes haven't started yet so I can't really say much. Homesickness may come later this year, when I was up to my ears with academic stuffs. But till then, I think I wanna enjoy a little bit more. Off to Botanical Gardens tomorrow! Shoot, got English diagnostics test. Will write more elaborately on my next entry, Insya-Allah. Bye for now!


And no, I am not going to buy those Salvia, if you're wondering.
Alice

Thursday, February 10, 2011

16 February


GAHHHHHHHHH

My days here are numbered. Less than a week before I'm off to Dunedin.

Yup, you heard me right. Less than a week, which means my flight won't be on the 19th as expected. It's a long story, but suffice to say that you should never EVER believe in hypes even when they come from a slideshow presented by MAS.

pic stolen from Aisyah. To clarify, the date shown says '19 Feb'

Right now I'm in a constant state of panic. I have only bought a few essential items for my journey to Dunedin, because I thought what the hell, I've got plenty of time more to do shopping. I'm awesome like that, see. Must go invade Giant tomorrow. And Landmark IT Mall also. Don't want to be caught using pirated Microsoft Office at NZ, no?

Of course, this latest news triggered screams of frustration by many an INTECian going to Otago (save for a few overzealous types, but I won't name names here although they don't read my blog), but well, there's no point grumbling really. JPA said it's 16 February, and that's it. 16 February would it be. Doesn't matter if your parents can't get a day off, your relatives can't come and send you to the airport, your former crush can't say goodbye to you on that day, etc. Haish.

And wow, lesser time in Malaysia. I know 3 days won't make that much of a difference (since I spend my day sleeping and wake up hoping that the day will end faster so that I can sleep more. Can't help it, I'm practicing :P) but tsk. 3 less days to spend with my parents and bros, 3 less days to spend some quiet time in my beloved cramped space of a bedroom, 3 less days to feel the warmth of the blazing JB sun, 3 less days for afternoon naps (lolwut?). Wow. Quick, give me time dilation stuff! (read:pot)

But then again, everything is fated by God. He knows what's best for us. Flying on the 16th is not that bad really, since we could make it in time for the course enrollment stuffs and orientation programs. And more time to settle down before class starts. That's good, that's good.

So yes, we plan and Allah plans too. But Allah's plans are better than ours, so be grateful! (bunyik pelik oh, aku direct translate ni ha)

See you at Dunny!
Alice

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

yes, i now have a dream journal

If you want to become lucid, it would be very helpful if you keep a dream journal and improve your dream recall. Through this, you will be able to detect patterns in your dreams and recognize dream signs so that it will be easier for you to distinguish between your waking life and your dreams. I kept a physical DJ last year, but stopped after the second week because well, there's no fun in keeping my bizarre dreams to myself. Online dream journal sounds very awesome, so I created a new blog for dream purposes (I may also post lucid dreaming-related stuffs there instead of here). I decided not to keep a dream journal at specific dream sites (like my favourite, the Dreamviews Lucid Dreaming Community & Resource DJ) because, um, I may post crappy things in my DJ so kakakakakakaka!

So yes, feel free to visit my DJ: http://dimethyltryptamine-trip.blogspot.com (aw can't help it, DMT is cool dude!)

In the meantime, happy dreaming!
Alice

Monday, February 7, 2011

a pathetic attempt at drawing (also: Forever Alone.jpg)

I don't have much talent in drawing compared to my bro, but I do love em. When I couldn't be bothered to draw proper anatomy, I draw people with round heads and specs. This is my signature style ever since I was in Form 1.
And yeah, my stroke is a bit messy. :P

lucidity01


lucidity02


I think you can click on them to have a better view. Enjoy!

Alice :D

Friday, February 4, 2011

you are me and i am you



Dear followers,
Sorry for the never-ending Shpongle spams here. I'll post lolita-related things once I get my camera phone back. In the meantime, have a listen to Simon and Raj here. Your life will be transformed forever, I promise. No you don't have to like electronic music to fall in love with Shpongle - their music is frickin diverse anyway. But of course things would be much easier if you could savour the complex layers of the musical arrangements (perhaps too complex for some?), because that's where the beauty lies.

I particularly liked Shpongle's latest album, Ineffable Mysteries from Shpongleland. It's somehow different than their previous albums (some said it has more pop elements - idk, sounds psychedelic enough for me. I mean, yes there are more vocals, but damn that's Michele Adamson dude, Michele Adamson is full-on Goa dude!) . This song, I Am You, is so lovely I almost cried. Those harmonic vocals are just...OMG. Listen from 3.26-4.11, you'll know what I mean. (I believe Simon also contributed his vocals in this song, but not in this live version).

Oh, and yes, Shpongle live shows are CRAZY as heck! Really wish I would be able to attend one someday. Simon, New Zealand sounds fine to you? :DDD

While you're at it, check out this one. Michele Adamson is very lovely. Can I be a Goa trance vocalist like her as well? XD
Alice