the ocean also dreams (a song meme - Goa trance version!)

Nobody tagged me, but I still feel like making one here. Lame meme is lame, but who cares? XD

RULES :

1.Put your music library on shuffle.

2.For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3.You must write that song title as the answer to the question, no matter how silly it sounds! Most of the time they seem to work though, strangely enough.

Ok, go!

1. If someone says, “Is this okay?” you say

Zero by Astral Projection

2. How would you describe yourself?

Kumba Mela by Cosmix & Etnica (what dude seriously?)

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

One Blinding Illumination by Cosmosis

4. How do you feel today?

Gift of the Gods by Cosmosis

5. What is your life’s purpose?

Fluorostani Transcendance by Unconscious Collective

6. What's your motto?

Navras by Juno Reactor (awesome)

7. What do your friends think of you?

Reload by Deedrah

8. What do you think of your parents?

Maian Dream by Astral Projection (!)

9. What do you think about very often?

Radioactive Rain by Infected Mushroom (typical of me)

10. What is 2 + 2?

Mai Mai by Jaia

11. What do you think of your best friend(s)?

Astral Way by Etnica

12. What do you think of the person you like?

The Flame of Eternal Life by Chi-AD (gila awesome Raphael)

13. What is your life story?

Astral Warrior by Chi-AD (yeah!)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Liquid Sun by Astral Projection (ha!)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

Imagine if the World Was On Trip by X-Dream (oh yes, imagine....... )

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

Spiritual Beings in Physical Bodies by Shakta (trance dance I reckon...)

17. What will they play at your funeral?

Dracul by Infected Mushroom (appropriate weh!)

18. What is your biggest fear?

The Prophecy by Astral Projection (Hari Kiamat kah?)

19. What is your biggest secret?

People Can Fly by Astral Projection (yes I can fly! In my lucid dream and in reality! XD)

20. What will you post this as?

The Ocean Also Dreams - Chi AD

Doesn't make sense, eh?

Alice

entry marah

1. Aku nak buat pengumuman, sekarang ni aku dah tak kisah lagi kalau sesiapa nak tegur aku depan-depan. In fact, I prefer it to be that way. Especially bila melibatkan keadaan di mana aku kena menghadapi orang ramai. Just cakap straight to my face, I would appreciate it very much (provided cakap tu baik-baik la, jangan terus terkam serbu je). If you don't have the guts to tell me face to face pun, tak perlu la jeling-jeling or bisik-bisik belakang aku. Kalau benda tu memang betul kenapa takut? FYI, telinga aku telinga lintah and I can easily overhear conversations about me within a one-metre radius. So daripada aku find out cara macam tu lepas tu bermusuhan dengan kau selama tujuh keturunan baik kau cakap depan-depan. Ini tak ada kena mengena dengan budak INTEC.
2. Boleh tak lelaki loser jangan kacau hidup aku lagi? Which part of "I'm not interested in romantic relationship with guys" don't you understand? No, of course aku bukan lesbian walaupun aku ada fiancée bernama Nurul Izzati, tapi aku ada sebab kenapa aku tak nak terikat dengan apa jenis romantic relationship pun dengan mana-mana lelaki especially them loser despo types. Nak tau sebab apa? Aku geli geleman! (ini cue untuk tak tanya further questions) Having said that, please stop any attempt to usha/tackle/etc dengan menggunakan terms of endearment, kalau dah stranger* tu buat cara stranger. [Ex] Boyfriend aku pun aku tak bagi guna perkataan macam tu apatah lagi kau yang entah sapa-sapa.
3. Duuuuuuude. Orang Melayu kalau kerja dengki-dengki aje bila nak maju duuuuuude. Kalau mak aku nak buat nasi lemak untuk cover ketiadaan nasi lemak kau sebab kau pemalas nak berniaga kerja ponteng aje so what duuuuude? Bukannya the next day orang terus tak nak beli nasi lemak kau pun dude! Kalau orang tak nak beli pun bukan salah mak aku dude, salah kau jugak masak cincai-cincai tapi naikkan harga macam kau masak guna petrol RON 97! Bila aku komplen kau kata harga barang naik. Dude, kau masak nasi lemak guna gula 3 kampit sehari ke dude?
4. Last but not least, I despise red tape, but it seems like the world goes round because of it. Nasib baik SKB aku diperbetulkan dalam masa 10 minit je, kalau tak dengan Julian Assange sekali aku sembur walaupun kurang berkaitan tapi ada jugak kaitan.

Bersyukurlah dilahirkan sebagai perempuan because you'll always have hormones to be blamed

Alice

*stranger: everybody outside your basic family member. Bergantung kepada keadaan, suami boleh jadi stranger jugak, and so does your BFF for 6 years

the bittersweet SACE result

what I actually wrote and kept as a draft the day before I got my result:

"Let me tell you something. It's not in my nature to reveal my target on anything (unless if it's obvious - like SPM, ofkos la aku KENA dapat 10 A1 yaww). But this time I felt compelled to do so because, uh, I don't know.

ATAR at least 94

All A's - INCLUDING Maths. Impossible? Who cares!!

At least 1 merit - I'm hoping it's Chemistry.

Of course I'll be content with ATAR Cukup-cukup Sembilan Puluh Dua as long as I get to go to Otago, but I'm determined. It makes me cry to think that I have been anything but excellent during my college years (as compared to me during my school years), so I really hope that things will be changed this time. I painfully realized that I didn't put much effort in AUSMAT (read: tido, internet berjam-jam, study bila nak exam aje), but who knows what God has in store for me, right?"

16th of December was D-day. I was up at 5.30 am for sahur when I received messages from my friends asking me how did I do in SACE. Naturally, I, being the person who finds it difficult to face the reality, resumed my slumber instead of going online to check the result. When I finally woke up for good, it was time to goreng kuih and it was 9 am when I finally got the opportunity to turn on the computer and log on to www.sace.sa.edu.au to check my results.

I cried when I saw what's displayed in front of the computer screen.

Alhamdulillah, I managed to achieve my every target, even getting an A for Maths! I couldn't describe how shocked I was. Shocked, really, because I only targeted for ATAR 94, but God gave me way more than that. Shocked, because I knew that my dream of getting straight A's would only remain a dream with Maths blocking my way, but God finally granted my wish. Shocked, because all the talk of getting a merit would not fit an extremely lazy person that I am, but God gave me the opportunity to achieve what I thought couldn't be achieved. For that, I am extremely grateful. Thank you Allah.

Of course, deep in my heart, I felt like I didn't deserve it. I have to admit, my efforts are very minuscule compared to other people. I was never the one who could study round the clock, harnessing every single materials I could get my hands on. I tried that, but I couldn't. My mind was so accustomed to the laid-back method that I've been using since my school days that when I finally pushed it to work harder to cope with AUSMAT's gruesome schedule and expectations, all systems began to overload. Or something close to that. Back in my school days, I kept stressing over the fact that I couldn't be half as hardworking as most people in my class, leading to several cutting sessions (because of the whole goddamn inferiority complex thingie lol). That was until a friend said to me "dude, kau ada cara sendiri, diorang ada cara sendiri. kau ada kelebihan dalam part lain, diorang ada kelebihan dalam part lain. so just go with your own method!" (quote telah diparaphrase).

So in order to achieve my mission to reach my first anniversary of being free from cutting, I took my friend's advice and study at my own pace. Although it is indeed fatal for my academic achievement (please refer to previous posts under the label 'AUSMAT'), it's better than adding another scar on my hand by doing things I'm not fond of. Of course it's a very bad feeling, especially when considering the fact that I did much better at school than I did in AUSMAT, but after a year and a half, I had become calloused already. I just leave it to God, let He determine what's best for me. I would be grateful enough if He gave me something which befits my efforts for one year and a half, like, say, ATAR Cukup-cukup Sembilan Puluh Dua (or less than that, I think). But if He wants to give me more, I would be more than elated.

At the end of the day, I believe it's about doing things your own way, praying and tawakkal. "Your own way" may mean staying up until 3 am to study, camping at the study room/library, or playing DotA while browsing through your Specialist Mathematics notes; it basically depends on which method you are comfortable with (I know I'm not comfortable with camping at the library lol). Just because others have their own study ritual doesn't mean you have to follow them bulat-bulat (well, of course you can if you want AND if you have the capability though). At the same time, "I can't do this bawww" should not be an excuse for you not to do anything either. Dude, who am I to say this anyway hahahahaha.

This post is unrelated to anything or anybody. Just feel like writing because I can.

Alice

p/s: Berbaktilah kepada haiwan nescaya haiwan akan mendoakan kemurahan rezeki kita

p/p/s: Remember the elevator dream? Apparently my dream deciphering is correct!

permata hijrah? permata sadomasochism lah!

Today mom brought me to Permata Hijrah for my 'sinusitis treatment'. Despite me convincing everybody that my disease is allergic rhinitis and not resdung, mom said that Permata Hijrah's method is worth trying no matter what histamines/virus/bacteria/creatures you are breeding in your sinus, so yeah, she's bringing me there. As a future pharmacist who spends her day flipping through MIMS Annual and Googles like hell whenever she receives a rather new medicine, Alice here is a bit skeptical about this whole Permata Hijrah thingie. Yeah, I gotta admit, the treatment method is rather attractive (according to mom and what I saw on TV, the treatment involves them 'vacuuming' out how many litres of mucus you have in your nasal cavity. Not really vacuuming though, but at the end of the treatment you're supposed to be free of mucus or something), but I don't see how a disease associated with faulty histamines can be cured by vacuuming out mucus. But yeah, worth trying. Kalau tak usaha macamana nak senang kan *shrugs*

So I went there, feeling a bit nervous. I haven't done my homework on that particular thing so I don't have any clue on how it will work, or what method they will use in order to purge out mucus from my nose. It may be very painful. Last thing I want is to feel intense pain today, dah la esok nak dapat result ngaummm. After the registration and whatnots, I was brought into the treatment room by one akak.

First thing she asked me to do is to shove two cotton buds soaked with Ubat Telinga Whatsoever into my ear canal as deep as I could. Paranoia #01: I am afraid of putting things into my ears that deep. Gila kau! Aku tau la guna cotton buds, tapi eardrum aku sensitif tau! Besides, it's painful! Turns out it was painful, but in a weird way. My ear canal, which I thought was full of wax or something, gave way to the cotton buds easily. And then, they move on their own. In and out, in and out. Now I have two cotton buds raping my ears! It was terrifying I almost cried! Haha, a bit exaggerating there, but yeah, I almost cried. And I haven't gone to the actual treatment part yet! Damn my low pain threshold.

Note: I didn't ask them, but I'm assuming that the ear raping treatment is necessary because sinusitis is an ENT disease, so of course you need to treat your ears as well. Though in this case, they could at least ask me "ada sakit telinga, nanah kat telinga, etc tak?" before doing so.

After asking me whether I hear any sound in my ear (me: of course I heard something. I hear them cotton buds raping my ears! akak: 30% ada resdung), she proceeded to the actual resdung treatment. She made me inhale some kind of herbal powder, which stung like hell, and told me "Kalau nak bersin, bersinlah". It took me a while to sneeze, which was of course torturous - you know the feeling when you're about to sneeze but in the end nothing came out? Imagine feeling that for 3 minutes. And when I finally sneezed, it was a total of 12 or so sneezes. Awesome. At this point, I was beginning to feel a bit suspicious. What I felt after inhaling the powder (non-stop sneezing, mucus overflow) was similar to the events in which my histamines were beginning to work overtime. Like I inhaled a big chunk of allergen!

As soon as she realized that I'm drowning in my own mucus, she began massaging my face to let them mucus out. And hell, what a lot of mucus I have!

Here's a picture to let you understand further. Sorry for its gross factor. You should see mine.

At first I was pleased with the result, though a bit tak puas hati because I felt like all the mucus came from my allergic reaction with the 'herbal powder'. When you're practically drowning in your own nasal secretions during a severe histamine attack, you will feel overly grateful looking at the long trails of mucus coming out of your own nose. Of course, I have high hopes that this particular treatment will eventually make me mucus-free (although part of me tells me that it's impossible - you don't have a reservoir of mucus inside your nasal cavity, they are secreted by my frickin mucous membrane and an overflow will only occur if histamines are in action!). Several nose-blowing moments later, I knew I was wrong.

I had a total of four painful rounds of mucus expelling. Okay the first round involved her massaging my sinus area to expel mucus, so that's not really painful. But when she began inserting two cotton buds dipped in the above herbal powder into my nasal cavity, I felt like getting up and shove them herbal whatsoever shites into her nasal cavity. GILA PERIIITTTT!!!! Just imagine having someone inserting cotton buds laden with paprika up your nose as deep as they could get. It's that bad, I swear. I fought the urge to slap her and run out of the room, and endured the treatment with clenched teeth and fists. I looked at mom with tears-filled eyes that screamed "PLEASE MOM MAKE HER STOP!" but she just nodded apologetically. Done with the first round of gruesome facial massage, she asked me to blow my nose as hard as I could to expel the remaining mucus in my nose. As hard as I could meaning I have to blow until my blood vessels were about to rupture (I silently hoped they would so that I could sue Permata Hijrah or something). She asked me afterwards, "Rasa tersumbat lagi tak?" Of course I had to say yes, because apparently after all those mucus expelling and blood vessel bursting there are still loads of mucus in my nose because THE HISTAMINES TRIGGERED THE CONSTANT PRODUCTION OF MUCUS FROM MY NOSE DAMMIT! I thought that she would proceed with a different treatment method, but as soon as I saw her holding two more cotton buds I knew I would be tortured yet again. And the cycle continued for two more rounds. Good thing she didn't use the dreaded herbal powder for the third and fourth round (she used some 'ubat resdung' liquid which feels quite minty), but still, the pain was still unbearable because she once again shoved them cotton buds deep into my nostrils. After everything was done, she asked me the dreaded question again, "Rasa tersumbat lagi tak?" This time I had to say no. I don't care if my mom paid RM50 for this utterly unscientific and nonclinical treatment, I want you to stop this shite and get me out of here!!!

So I went out of the treatment room teary-eyed. The akak told my mom that I have loads of mucus in my nasal cavity, and recommended her to buy me a bottle of herbal capsules worth RM100+ to 'cure my resdung' because apparently the capsules can 'cure resdung altogether from the roots, not just eliminate the symptoms'. Mom said she did not bring extra money with her, so the akak told her to at least buy a different kind of herbal capsules to 'alleviate my symptoms of resdung', which costed RM25. Determined to make me feel better, she said yes, and she paid a total of RM75 for the treatment and the capsules. Before we left, the akak and her colleague at the registration counter asked me how old I am and what I'm currently studying. With my renowned acid face, I told them that I'll be going to NZ to study PHARMACY and find cure for my RHINITIS. With that, I left the premise.

Look, I'm not trying to be ungrateful over what mom had done to alleviate my daily sufferings, I just felt cheated. Not mom's fault in any way, it's the people at PH who should be blamed. I mean, it's okay if you want to introduce alternative healing methods to cure sickness which could not be cured by modern medicine, but to do so by assuming that all diseases involving the nose is resdung is just, uh. FYI, after the treatment I Googled like hell about other people's reactions on the PH resdung treatment. Amidst the tons of "aku tengok video orang buat rawatan resdung keluar ulat resdung" (which is bullshit if you ask me), people did not complain much on the treatment. But then again, maybe they do have resdung in its entirety (and not rhinitis like I have here), or even if they also have rhinitis, they do not know much about the nature of the disease. I'm yet to find a proper MD who writes about this particular resdung treatment. Maybe I should ask my doctor about this.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but at this moment I'm still having the worst bout of rhinitis attack in my life. Either way, I'm so not going back to do my second treatment, I'll just stick to my kidney-destroying cetirizine HCl thank you.

inb4 sokong produk kafir tak sokong produk Islamik Bumiputera

Alice

p/s: akak tu cakap aku kena pantang makan, tak boleh makan makanan bergoreng, seafood, AIS (gila kau pantang ais JB ni panas kot!). Dalam hati aku cakap to hell with pantang, aku allergik habuk la bebeh

december loliday 2010 / sewing project completed!

Last 4th of December was the International Lolita Day. Since I can't find myself a proper lolita friend who lives in JB (come on, that would be impossible. I don't even have a proper friend in JB, let alone a lolita one), I celebrated it alone like my previous Lolidays. Only, instead of wandering around City Square aimlessly in hope to find a random fellow lolita or two, I went to Danga Bay to celebrate it. Wait, that's not entirely true. I celebrated Loliday at Danga Bay a day after Loliday because like last year's one, Mom had enormous kuih orders to be made that day and I can't just leave her to do them alone without lending a hand or two really. I was paid after all yaww XD.

But I did manage to wear lolita on Loliday, despite me needing to do my medical checkup for that NZ student visa. Annoyed the clinic assistants like hell with my layers of clothes. Also managed to drop by Persada for a while to check out the PC Expo there (didn't buy anything, too skint already) and went to City Square in search for a fellow loli freak. Sheesh, looks like City Square should be my official Loliday venue after all. Padahal bukan ada apa-apa pun kat situ lol.

Anyhoo, like my previous Lolidays, I would set myself a special Loliday sewing project. First it was the black OP surgery, then it's the epic JSK recon project. This Loliday, however, I wanted to upgrade my sewing skills and decided to make a JSK from scratch, completely hand-sewn. Yup, that's right, completely hand-sewn, no machines whatsoever, just thread and needles and rulers (and a bunch of pro seamstress friends XD). Of course, I didn't believe I can complete it in two weeks' time either, but somehow I did. And here's the result:

Hand-sewing a JSK is not an impossibility XD

Bodice. Seriously I had a difficult time making it because I didn't have any clue on how to make a bodice. But thanks to Chark, I managed :D

I actually wanted to include a bib on the JSK, but since I'm hand-sewing everything (hence I can't make any freakin pintucks - that would be disastrous) I cancelled the plan and made an over-easy JSK instead. Don't have much time dude *shrugs*

Wearing my new JSK, I headed to Danga Bay, hoping that the lovely Rose Garden Cafe at Festive Street Mall still exists. To my utter disappointment, the whole Festive Street Mall had ceased to be an abandoned building. The hell?? Last time I went there everything were still in place! (That was a year ago though) Since I no longer have a proper place to have my Loliday tea party, I decided to walk around aimlessly around the area and enjoy the late afternoon scenery.

Don't you just wish it was sunset/moonrise? - Goa trance freak Alice

Since it was weekend, people started visiting the amusement park (or whatever) much earlier than usual. Already at 4 pm, the grand carousel was up and running, with several little girls riding the lovely little horses accompanied by their mothers. How I wish I could take a ride on the carousel as well, it's so damn beautiful. But uh, enough with me walking around wearing a dress which looked like it was designed to be worn by a five-year-old girl - I totally didn't want to appear too adult baby-ish to the people by riding the carousel. Of course I was heartbroken - carousels are so rori, and things would be different if I'm not alone, but, yeah *sigh*

Grand carousel

Y'know, it's a shame I didn't manage to take a pic of me anywhere near the carousel. Next Loliday I demand people with DSLR to take my pic here. Wait, I don't want my next Loliday to be in Malaysia. Wellington sounds nice.

Here's my coord for the day. Chopped legs awesomeness.

I can't smile. My petti is dead. And if you're wondering, I was listening to Chi-A.D. Cannot take off headphones.

After I was quite satisfied with my walk around aimlessly session, it was time to go home. But I was still disappointed with not being able to have my afternoon tea at Rose Garden Cafe, so I went to Secret Recipe at Perling Mall and had my customary Loliday cake (only, this time it was once again a brownie - I can no longer eat a full slice of Secret Recipe cake alone. Muak doh!)

yang ni pun tak habis

I think I kinda enjoyed this year's Loliday more than the previous ones - probably due to the fact that I have successfully finished my first hand-sewn JSK , or probably because this could be my last Loliday here (please let it be! please let it be! Amin!! <--- results will be out this week). I honestly feel that I have learned a lot about Lolita since last year's December Loliday, and I hope to be a much better lolita than I am now after this. Next Loliday mission: get Melty Chocolate!

Wishing you a VERY UTTERLY belated International Lolita Day,

Alice

loliday plans and yay my jsk is almost complete!

Project Update

Project name:

a muslim lolita's dilemma

*thought I might want to write something about this. It's been long since the Muslim Lolita blog is updated*

In my humble opinion, lolita fashion could work with the Muslim clothing guidelines, as lolita is a very modest fashion. I said 'could work' because there are some outfits that are deemed unsuitable to be worn by a Muslimah, as they might be too form-fitting (thus defeating the purpose of covering the aurat) or having inaproppriate motifs (crosses - like most of Moitie's dresses *sigh*. Some stricter Muslims also do not approve of animal motifs in clothings, especially dog motifs. But I do think that IW's Puppy collections are very adorable though). Apart from that, I don't think there are any problems regarding wearing lolita as a Muslimah. You can wear a long-sleeved blouse with a normal JSK (you can opt for a cardigan if you think the JSK is too form-fitting), and wear a cute matching hijab, and maybe a little bow on your hijab to lolify it further. One thing though.

What the hell am I going to do with my legs????

Here's the dilemma. You see, other lolitas will choose either to wear a pair of OTK socks, knee-high socks or tights (or even ankle socks if you prefer) before slipping into their favourite tea parties or RHS or mary janes. As a Muslimah, while OTK socks and their counterparts may seem to cover them legs enough to warrant them as Muslimah attire-friendly, they have one problem - they show the shape of your legs. And that's a no-no, because you are still deemed as not covering your aurat.

covers your skin all right, but the shape still shows, love.

So for about 3 years, I wore lolita with dress pants or slacks to complete the Muslimah look. For 3 years also, I refused to show my lolita coords to public (aside to a number of people who I'm positive do not have any inkling on lolita fashion). You see, the lolita community generally disprove of pants in coords (other than the obvious dandy/ouji/kodona...but those are not lolita really). I've seen one post on egl a few years back, and from what I saw these people are less forgiving when it comes to pants in lolita. Maybe you could say that pants + skirt combination generally looks off and impractical (although more people are starting to adopt the dress + pants combo in their casual coords nowadays...in my country at least). Still, I do not have any choice other than wearing pants with my lolita dresses (people have suggested tight jeans or leggings, but those definitely defeat the purpose of covering up the aurat, no doubt), so I just went on with that. Most of the times, I dare not label my coord as lolita (this was before the emergence of the Muslim Lolita group).

NOT LOLITA YO

Even when I reveal my coords for the world to see, I'll make sure that the legs part are carefully cropped so as to avoid revealing any glimpse of pants (or socks for indoor shoots)

EEP! What are those two cylinder-like things under my JSK???

After months of lurking on egl, I suddenly discovered something awesome. A fellow Muslim Lolita, Noor Al-Kattan (sugar_noor on daily_lolita... she's the icon of Muslim Lolita really ^^) posted a lolita coord on d_l, and instead of pants, she wore boots!

I've been pondering over the idea wearing boots to cover up my legs really. You see, unlike OTK socks or tights, some boots are loose enough and do not show the shape of the legs. Perfectly OK for a Muslimah.

Awesomeness

While this certainly excites me (yay for showing full coords to the world!), I have another problem: lolita boots are expensive and cheapskate me can't afford them. BAWWW!

But that didn't stop me. Why baww over expensive lolita boots when you can buy normal boots and lolify them? But then, boots are expensive on their own (read: more expensive than shoes) and I can only spend RM50 over a single item (major lol). Still, I scoured Times Square and Sungei Wang, hoping to find a nice loliable lace up knee-high boots which are not too form-fitting in either black or white - preferably white - which cost less than RM50. Gila impossible! But thank God, somehow I found one (although not in white)!

All hail awesomeboot (ignore smudged background...don't even bother to guess)

Personally I think the boots suit certain lolita styles well (gothic and classic: maybe, pirate: of course!). Too bad I can't find a sweeter white coloured boots - I prefer white because my current wardrobe mainly consists of sweeter dresses. But I was very grateful to find this one really. Finally, something to wear with my new Bodyline JSK!

sorry them boots are far from visible in this coord pic XP

My next mission would be finding an appropriate white boots (hopefully under RM50 also). I heard that Danga Festive Street Mall has a couple of shops selling damn cheap boots (kes tak laku). I need a pair for the Malaysian Lolita Club's fashion runway - planning to wear my handmade Children's Tea Party JSK (from this "project registration") and twin with Chark on that day. If you find any please do tell me! :D :D

Boots are a Muslim Lolita's best friend XD

Alice

lucid dreaming (and dreaming in general)

(yes, because this is very lucid dream-ish. 'Sides, it's Goa. *ends argument*)

It's very weird, you see, to know that I haven't blogged about this (properly, at least) despite being a self-confessed hippie (yeah, turns out that I'm morphing into a full-blown hippie with a penchant for everything New Agey - even Neotantra! - thanks to my immense love towards Goa trance). I can't really label myself as a regular lucid dreamer, because I rarely have lucid dreams even though I practically sleep 12 hours per day. But I do have vivid dreams every time I sleep, resulting in either oversleeping or intense sluggishness while frying curry puffs (obstructive sleep apnoea perhaps - Hypochondriac Alice). And mind you, I can remember every single dream that I had, without needing to learn dream recalling techniques. So I guess I'm almost there?

As far as I can remember, I only had around 4 lucid dreams after discovering about it. I may had more when I was little (e.g. reality check when dreaming about going to the toilet to make sure I don't wet the bed lol), but those didn't count because I didn't know anything about lucid dreaming at that time. My latest lucid dream was about me going to Bukit Putus, Kuala Pilah, stopping by a small house and meeting my ex-schoolmates. Unfortunately, as soon as I deduced that I was dreaming, know what I did? Instead of flying, I opened my eyes! Utter disappointment.

Lately, I keep having dreams involving me reaching high places (riding an escalator from ground level to the 3rd level without going through the 2nd level, or, oddly, climbing ropes in a shopping mall), only to inadvertently fall back to where I started. It was both frightening and wonderful - frightening because everything was so vivid, it can almost pass off as a real life 10-metre plunge downwards; wonderful because everything was so vivid, you could even feel the adrenaline rush. Good thing though, each time I fall, I managed to bring it to a halt, allowing me to rise up again. Woah, talk about metaphor (at the peak of my academic excellence at school, falling miserably during AUSMAT, passing SACE with TER ATAR 94? Hope so! Amin!). It's kinda freaky, because I never had any themes in my dreams before (aside from the usual 'going to familiar places altered beyond recognition' - I have those every night), unlike my housie Leana who has running dreams since forever. But yeah, now that I have familiarized myself with the escalator dreams, I'm determined to make it lucid. Next time I have one of those I'll be flying instead of falling yo!

Talking about making lucid dreams, it seems like my hypothesis is correct - I cannot lucid dream with aids, be it binaural beats or isochronic tones or hallucinogens (I-Doser version of course) or even somnacin (lol!). I listened to lucid dreaming isochronic tones twice, then tried astral projection tones, then OOBE. Nothing. Don't get me started on I-Doser. Even in complete darkness, pure silence, with my bro's AVF HM900 headphones, I didn't get anything noticeable (but somehow, I did experience the feeling of being sucked deeper into my body while listening to the Trip dose). Right now I'm in the midst of trying the lucid dreaming induction techniques devised by the Lucidity Institute. It may or may not succeed, but I'm determined to make it happen. My goal is to have at least one lucid dream per week, although having more than four dreams in one night like my man Stephen LaBerge would be most awesome.

I love this guy. He's the best ever, like Prof. Stephen Duffull. It would be very awesome to be his student, no? :D

So yeah, I believe that with enough practice, I will reach that level. It's not that difficult, isn't it?After all, Top also lucid dreams, so I don't see how I, a person fifty times more Goa than him, can't do the same. I have plenty of time to practice this holiday, hope I'll get there before January (haha, aim for the moon baby! Like ATAR 94!). In the meantime, are there any of you lucid dreamers out there who would be kind enough to share a couple of tips with me? I would most appreciate it :D

When you dream there are no rules. People can fly. Anything can happen.

Alice

old flame?

Hari ni aku dapat missed call misteri dari sape entah aku pun tak tau. Dia call nombor aku yang lama. Disebabkan nombor lama tu aku selalu guna untuk urusan-urusan rasmi, aku pun cuak la takut-takut Tunku Sofiah Larasih ke telefon aku (contoh...mane la tau permohonan aku untuk claim balik deposit Toroa College diluluskan ke kan), so aku call la balik. Orang tersebut angkat. Berikut merupakan transkrip perbualan aku dengan orang tersebut.

Aku: H-hello, saya Fatimah, tadi ada telefon nombor ni ke? (nada sungguh formal tapi tergagap-gagap because I suck at verbal conversations)

Orang: Huh? <--- okey sah bukan pegawai mana-mana

Aku: Er, ni nombor sape yek?

Orang: Hai, saya Saiful, dari KEMPAS.

Gila sial! KEMPAS yang dah lama gila aku shove jauh-jauh dari memori aku kot (ada peristiwa buruk berkaitan dengan tu). Apahal makhluk ni call aku pulak, lepas 4 tahun kot baru nak contact.

And, sejak bila la pulak ada budak nama Saiful dari KEMPAS ni? Saiful PKTR aku tau la, sebab aku love him so strong (inside joke). Ke aku yang lupa?

(FYI, KEMPAS tu ialah Kem Pendidikan Alam Semulajadi 2007 peringkat kebangsaan. Aku, Linda ngan Amirah Samsuri (A-Level) pergi jadik wakil negeri time tu, menang second place. Kat situ aku jumpa S*****)

By the way, sambung conversation.

Aku: KEMPAS? KEMPAS 4 tahun lepas tu? Biar betul kau. Mana dapat nombor ni?

Orang: Mana dapat tu tak penting, yang penting saya nak kawan dengan awak. Saya suka sangat tengok awak. Boleh kita berkawan?

Kau tau tak, aku cukup anti betul bila makhluk spesies Homo sapiens kromosom XY dah mula keluarkan ayat "boleh kita berkawan" dan sewaktu dengannya ni. Kau nak kawan, kawan je la tak perlu bagi ayat bunga-bunga. Biasa kalau makhluk XY ni bagi ayat macam tu mesti dia ada intention lain, as in carik awek. Bukan niat aku untuk jadik sombong ke apa, tapi aku lagi prefer if you cut the clichéd words short and say things like "Hey, I heard you like Goa trance. Menarik gila, biasanya girls dengar lagu Justin Bieber (contoh). Saya suka heavy metal, tapi ada jugak lagu Goa trance yang saya suka. Filteria sangat bagus".

(sekadar selingan. Apparently ramai heavy metal fans suka lagu ni sebab ia SANGAT AWESOME!)

Dan satu lagi, what's with that "Saya suka sangat tengok awak" tu? Boleh kau ingat pulak muka aku macamana lepas dah 4 tahun? Kalau benda ni betul la, aku memang salute habis. Dahlah tak pernah contact, tiba-tiba stalk cakap "saya suka sangat tengok awak". Creepy. Part ni dah mula menimbulkan syak wasangka aku.

ALSO, weh apekahhhhh??? Perkataan yang aku paling anti! Mana dapat nombor? "Itu tak penting...". GAHHHH boleh tak bagitau terus? Kau mintak dari adik aku ke, dari Linda ke, kau google nama aku keluar nombor aku ke. Sebab aku tak bagi nombor aku kat strangers okeh mestilah aku kena tau sebab aku panik. Kalau nak kata dapat dari buku program KEMPAS, aku punya nombor tu tak wujud lagi masa zaman KEMPAS kot. Aku beli lepas kem tu sebab nak tepon S***** lama-lama (kantoi).

Cakap pasal S*****, aku tiba-tiba dapat realization. Wait, budak ni kata dia budak KEMPAS, siapa la pulak yang tau pasal KEMPAS ni kan. Dia dapat nombor yang memang aku tak bagi kat budak KEMPAS yang lain except S***** dan schoolmates dia.

Ni mesti makhluk S***** menyamar ni! Suara pun macam sama! Hoh! (Linda ade kata dia nak contact aku balik before SACE hari tu, tapi aku tak bagi dia nombor baru kasi padan muka sikit).

So aku tanya dia:

Aku: Yo, ni S***** ke?

Orang: *senyap jap* Eh tak lah.

Aku: Cakap betul-betul, ni S***** ke? Macam ye je.

Orang: Bukan. Saya Saiful.

Disebabkan aku dah geram dan sayang kredit, aku suruh dia mesej aje and letak tepon. Dia kemudiannya bagi mesej yang berikut:

"Awak, saya nak kawan dengan awak boleh ke tak? Lagipun saya dah tengok muke awak kat facebook tau. Awak comel sangat..."

Aku geram tau tak geram. Nampak sangat.

"Mane dapat nombor ni? Please bagitau. I don't give my number to strangers"

Dan dia tak reply2 lagi sampai sekarang.

Aku akan keep on with my first guess; 'Saiful' itu ialah S***** yang sedang menyamar. Aku ambik ESLS dan Maths Studies aku tau la deduce. Berdasarkan bukti-bukti di bawah, aku 95% confident yang dia tu S***** sebab:

1. Dia tau kewujudan KEMPAS.
2. Dia tau nombor aku
3. Dia punya suara sejiban
4. Taktik provokasi yang aku memang tau milik dia (awak comel la etc etc)
5. Tak nak cakap mana dapat nombor aku
6. 'Saiful'. LOL appropriate sungguh nama kau.

Aku takdela nak mengamuk lebih-lebih. Aku pun pernah menyamar ape, kenakan Ezra (kahkahkahkahkahkahkah). Tapi uh, kalau betul la kau S*****, apasal tak cakap je terus terang. Bukan aku nak makan kau pun. Hari tu aku tak contact sebab aku terlepas call kau, lepas tu malas nak call balik sebab takde kredit.

Dan kalau kau betul Saiful from KEMPAS, uh, please cakap mana dapat nombor okeh? Itu pet peeve aku orang tak nak bagitau mana dapat nombor. Aku takde la pulak join FinGang ke Brader Sistah Gempak ke ape.

Tapi, uh, lantaklah. Tak kacau hidup aku pun sebenarnya. At least ada bahan nak buat update blog kan muahahahaha. Sorry kalau terkasar bahasa gahahahaha (lol sorry tak ikhlas).

At least now you know what repels me,

Alice

got nothing better to write

Emo girl: Music is my life, I can't live without music.

Me: What kind of music? The one that tells you to slit your wrist because your life sucks? I believe it's "I can't live with music", honey :)

new song

Not entirely new, though, just felt like sharing this with you.

Unfortunately I'm still new when it comes to music production. Hope that I'll be able to improve my skills this holiday.

Lucid Dreaming to the Past by Vryzzer

If you're wondering, yeah, I intended to make psy (failed miserably, though)

cerekarama, feminism dan masochism

Raging feminism contents inside. Patah balik kalau cepat butthurt. You have been warned.

Semalam aku tengok telefilem Melayu, Masyitah. Tak berniat untuk tengok secara serius pun, tapi disebabkan aku sedang bosan tahap maksima masa potong kentang (nak baca buku tak boleh seba tengah potong kentang, so what do you expect), aku pun terpaksa la layan je. Lagipun channel lain takde cerita best. Kalau ikutkan, baik aku bawak laptop pergi ruang tamu, pasang Inception, pakat nganga sama adik-adik. But when you're doing potatoes there are things that you can't do makanya aku tengok ajelah drama tersebut. Itu pun tak tengok dari mula.

Dipendekkan cerita, Masyitah ni pasal seorang perempuan yang berhadapan dengan pergolakan rumah tangga akibat sikap mak mertua yang kuat menghasut. Si Masyitah ni ada anak yang autistic, jadi mak mertua dia yang loser tu guna alasan anak cacat tu untuk pisahkan dia dengan laki dia. Yang laki dia pun ikut aje cakap mak tanpa banyak soal. Tipikal la dalam keluarga Melayu. Mak mertua mesti menyampah gila dengan menantu perempuan dia, tuduh dia perempuan tak elok la, malas la, perampas anak orang la. Bila dapat cucu ada defect sikit, salahkan gene perempuan tu (padahal gene defect tu daripada anak dia yang merokok rantai 3 peket sehari). Bila tak dapat cucu pulak sekali lagi tuduh perempuan tu mandul la hape la (walaupun hakikatnya anak dia yang ada low sperm count sebab dah banyak 'bazirkan' masa muda-muda dulu!). Kalau anak dia dah mula tak dengar cakap dia, sekali lagi tuduh perempuan tu guna ilmu hitam la, guna-guna la, minyak dagu bayi la. Lepas tu pakat dapat sokongan padu daripada saudara-mara kasi pulau sama itu perempuan. Sampailah ke tua perempuan tu kena pulau. Ini bukan exaggeration, hal ini memang terjadi dalam masyarakat Melayu (even dalam keluarga aku sendiri - tapi version lain sikit la).

Disebabkan dah selalu sangat terjadi dalam masyarakat kita, penerbit-penerbit telefilem pun gunalah jalan cerita tersebut untuk buat telefilem. Basic storyline dah ada, cuma perlu ubah sikit-sikit aje, takut orang tuduh plagiat pulak kan. Lepas tu menang Anugerah Skrin. Honestly speaking, berapa banyak telefilem dah aku tengok cerita pasal perempuan yang dipulaukan keluarga suami or bergaduh dengan mak mertua. Itu baru yang aku tengok, belum yang aku tak tengok. Yang kelakarnya, semua cerita tersebut mesti memaparkan "ketabahan seorang wanita menjalani liku-liku kehidupan berumahtangga, yang akhirnya menemui kebahagiaan berkat kesabarannya", dan "kebahagiaan" tu biasanya bermaksud laki dia pulang ke pangkuan dia, dan mak mertua dia dapat terima dia. Macam Masyitah la, last2 laki dia lumpuh dan insaf lalu kembali semula kat dia, dan diakhiri dengan scene Masyitah menangis teresak-esak (meminta ampun perhaps) dan memeluk laki dia.

My question is: kenapa setiap kali buat cerita macam tu mesti paparkan perempuan sebagai seorang yang lemah dan tak buat apa-apa selain bersabar? Good thing jugak cerita semalam tu portray Masyitah sebagai wanita berkerjaya, kalau dia tu seorang ibu technically tunggal (kira gantung tak bertali la) yang terpaksa jual kuih demi menyara anak yang cacat (like the others) lagi la aku mengamuk sakan. Memang betul, sabar itu bagus, sabar separuh daripada iman, tapi kalau bersabar aje tak buat apa-apa kau ingat everything will be fine dalam sekelip mata?

Come on, let's face it, real life bukan macam kat dalam drama. Kau tak boleh expect laki kau yang kaki perempuan tu tiba-tiba insaf dan kembali ke pangkuan kau dalam sekelip mata. Kau tak boleh expect mak mertua kau yang kepala batu dan hati keras tu tiba-tiba boleh terima kau. Oh, by the way, kenapa mesti expect diorang insaf dan terima kau at the first place? Kenapa mesti bergantung pada diorang jugak? Tak boleh ke tinggalkan diorang terus, tak payah nak sakit-sakit hati? Tak boleh hidup tanpa laki? Sebelum kahwin boleh aje hidup. Tak elok putuskan silaturahim? Siapa yang mula-mula putuskan sebenarnya?

Perempuan ada hak, gunakanlah hak tu. Kalau dah terang-terang sangat diorang dah benci, buat apa menghegeh lagi kat diorang? Buang masa dan tenaga. They will manipulate you for their own satisfaction. Kau diam membisu, dia suruh sain agreement tukar hak milik tanah. Kau tak melawan, dia bawak perempuan lain masuk rumah. Kalau dah obvious sangat dia tak tunaikan tanggungjawab sebagai suami, mintaklah fasakh. Pergi jumpa peguam syariah. Kenapa masih jadi perempuan submissive yang ikut saja cakap laki walaupun boleh memudaratkan diri?

Itulah masalah masyarakat kita. Perempuan kena patuh, taat, ikut sahaja cakap orang jangan banyak soal. Kena bergantung kepada lelaki, kalau tak takleh hidup. Kalau laki buat hal, sabar...sabar... dia lelaki jadi dia ada hak nak buat apa-apa. memang betul, dalam Islam lelaki ialah pemimpin kaum wanita. Isteri kena taat perintah suami, kalau tak dikira nusyuz. Tapi hal ini tak boleh apply lagi kalau laki tu sendiri tak jalankan tanggungjawab dia. Apa ingat perempuan aje boleh nusyuz, lelaki pun boleh dikira nusyuz okeh. Tak caya pergi Google. Islam bukan agama yang zalim. When it comes to marital problems, seorang perempuan ada banyak options untuk bebaskan dirinya. Janganlah biarkan diri jadi punchbag - ada jalan keluar, gunakan sebaik-baiknya.

Dalam kes mak mertua kurang hajar pulak (macam nenek aku), buat apa memperbodohkan diri. Tunjuk la garang sikit! Dalam hidup ni kalau kita berterusan tunjuk diri lemah lembut dan submissive, orang senang take advantage. Dia tak terima, ok fine. Dia punya pasal. Dia dah tua, demented agaknya, don't bother about her anymore. Kalau ambik hati dia pun buang karan je kan, so baik tak payah. Lari jauh-jauh, putuskan contact. Selagi dia boleh kejar kau, selagi tu dia akan kejar dan kacau hidup kau, mintak harta la ape la (macam nenek aku). Sebab tu kalau boleh cariklah bakal laki yang yatim piatu, senang sikit hidup tak payah layan mak mertua yang banyak hal. Please la, be firm, forget about lemah lembut whatsoever. This is about your rights. Dalam soal hak kita tak boleh lemah lembut.

Aku dah lama sebenarnya nak tulis pasal ni, tapi pendam-pendam makanya jadik panjang macam ni. Perempuan-perempuan zaman sekarang, please stop being so submissive tanpa banyak soal. Dan satu lagi, tolonglah bersedia awal-awal sebelum kahwin, jangan main kahwin aje. Khatamkan buku undang-undang keluarga Islam dulu. Be wary of your future husband (before kahwin memang la setia gila, cuba kalau dah kahwin nanti...hancus). Kalau future husband suruh berhenti kerja, cakap dengan dia "Aku study 11 tahun kat sekolah, tambah setahun setengah buat AUSMAT yang menggila, lepas tu study lagi 4 tahun nak dapat degree kau boleh senang-senang suruh aku berhenti kerjaaa???? Pergi mampus!!!" sambil ugut nak clash kalau dia mention lagi pasal tu.

Fight for your rights

Alice

appropriate professions in the scientific field for Goa trance headz like me part 1

That's a mouthful ya

(of course this is not Goa, but it's scientific enough so yeah)

So yeah. You love Goa trance even before the emergence of the first full moon festival, and your knowledge regarding this particular style of trance would shame Goa Gil himself. You are the Goa version of a quaintrelle, so it's only natural that you take up a job related to Goa trance, innit? Problem is, you are the heir to a legacy of Einsteins, and you are so not going to end up being an underground DJ/producer, spinning and making records that people have stopped listening to since the 2000's (okay, there are people who still listen to Goa trance, but by the turn of the century people have become too preoccupied with psy already, so who cares about Goa anymore?). So what are you going to do then? Study about Goa related stuffs, of course! Here are some professions which you might want to consider.

Mycologist

Let's face it, us Goa headz love our mushrooms. Especially those under the genus psilocybe. We eat them, process them, even make tea out of them. To us, mushrooms are the most sacred God's creation (after Salvia divinorum perhaps), and therefore should be valued and cherished with all our heart. What better way to value the wonders of mushrooms than by studying about them deeply?

Pharmacognosist

Okay, I know I can just say pharmacologist, but that's not accurate enough yaww. Pharmacognosist is, well, an expert in pharmacognosy, which is basically the study of natural remedies, or the study of how mundane plants can become useful medicines and cure any kinds of maladies. Since we Goa headz are so hippie we don't believe in carcinogen-laden modern medicines, being a pharmacognosist is crucial for the Goa headz population to ensure that we can stay healthy without polluting ourselves with man-made poisons (in this context, please conveniently ignore LSD).

Oneirologist

Please do count the number of Goa trance/ psybient songs having references on dreams, be it lucid or vivid or whatever. Too many to count, right? Dream is, after all, an integral element of the Goa biosphere, since the nature of dreams itself is highly mystical. I mean, where else can you find yourself flying without wings, confidently naked while surfing across what seemed to be a highly altered version of your childhood hometown accompanied by various sorts of distorted beings? Salviatrip, perhaps, but that doesn't count. A career as an expert in the scientific study of dreams helps you to uncover the mysteries behind what happens when one slips into an REM state. And nothing is more Goa than uncovering the mysteries behind that one. You can also study about the very mystical lucid dreaming, and astral projection for that matter. Oh, speaking of astral projection...

Astral Projectionologist/ OOBEologist

Okay, I made this one up. But one can always start.

Cosmologist

You see, the study of the Universe has been fascinating us Goa headz from the start. You'll find these cosmic elements in abundance in Goa trance, from the samples taken from films like 2001 A Space Odyssey, Star Trek, Star Wars and Dune, to the 'deep space noises' drones and synths (e.g. Zero by Astral Projection) and the cosmic-sounding outfit names and song titles (e.g. Space Tribe and Dancing Galaxy respectively). Maybe it has got to do with the whole Hindu mythology of which Goa headz are very fond of (it is, after all, Goa trance). You ask me why cosmology? Well, you can always take astrophysics or astronomy, or if you are very inclined, exoplanetology, but none of them is as mystical as cosmology, and you can never be Goa enough unless you are immersed in something highly mystical innit?

Psychopharmacologist

Because Rick Strassman is one. Studying about DMT and other psychoactive substances is so much fun, really. By being a psychopharmacologist, you can deepen your understandings on how those drugs work on your body to distort your conscious perceptions. Uh, no really. You actually focus more on what happens when one takes them psychoactive drugs, taking note on any changes in behaviour, mood, thinking, those stuffs (Wiki 2010). In short, you observe people babbling about "meeting highly intelligent creatures, telling me all the secrets of the world, seeing the past, present and the future all blended into one, feeling an overwhelming sense of love, peace, knowledge and tranquility...". Now that must be fun.

Plus point, you can always get a free dose of DMT (or two) any given time, "for the benefits of humanity".

So there you go. Plenty of options already. Who says you have to give up your future to live a very Goa life? And who says you have to give up your passion to have a secure future? You can indeed get the best of both worlds!

Happy studying and Boom!

Alice

the grand dinner

Yeah, it was like a dream. I graduated from AUSMAT already (though I must mention that the official graduation ceremony was in August. Lol lawak eh?). What better thing to end your 1.5 years of a killer matriculation program than with an equally killer grand dinner? Awesomeness.

The dinner was held at the very majestic Empire Hotel. Theme was Grammy night, so there were a bunch of paparazzis taking pictures of us walking along the red carpet and on a Grammy-ish backdrop. Very Grammy, indeed. I must applaud the committee members for organising such an awesome night (despite all the things that happened prior to the event - not going to disclose that one XD). We were supposed to walk into the ballroom in pairs, and my partner for the night was, of course, Nemo (ape ko ingat ade ke mamat2 AUSMAT nak ajak aku jadik partner diorang? Kirim salam. "Tim yang selalu pakai baju hitam tu kan?" But not that I care anyway).

So I said I want to wear aristo. I wore aristo.

Jacket: Peace Collections (not Peace Now or Black Peace Now okeh), with buttons replaced

Blouse: My very old altered 'loli' blouse

Skirt: Handsewn the night before. Slept at 5 am for this.

Epic long petticoat: also handsewn

Jabot: Handsewn 3 hours before the dinner lol

Shoes (which you can't see here, but it's a pair of red velvet stilettos): A shop at Sungei Wang

Mini top hat: Altered, bought at My One Shop. God I'm going to miss that shop.

Also, I must tell you that before the event started, I bumped into Cikgu Hassan. He eyed me from head to toe, and with an inexplainable expression on his face (shocked? disgusted? 'apakah pakaian yang mengikut budaya sembah syaitan ini'?), he asked me "Ni pakaian jenis apa ni?". I was stunned and couldn't say a word, but I managed to blurt out " Uh, ah, ini aristocrat, Victorian style, uh..." and quickly find refuge inside the ballroom. Heh, if Laura and the Innocent Girl Connie can wear micro mini dresses, I can't see why am I not allowed to wear a modest, not form-fitting aristo outfit (itu nasib baik aku tak pakai lolita and boots, kalau tak mesti dia tanya "mana seluar awak?").

By the way, here's how me and my fiancée looked like to

gether (yeah, she said she was thinking of wearing sweet lolita with me, but not many people are courageous enough to wear lolita in public so there you go).

lol macam nak lari

And so the main event kicked off with a performance by AUSMAT's very own band, The Last 3 Letters. Syira's acting was brilliant, kalau audition jadik pelakon tu memang boleh sangat sangat lepas (ini serius). The performances were cool, too. I especially enjoy the Korean medley dances with Leong's sissy antics and whatnots. I was 'invited' to perform a few months back, but I decided not to because I want to eat my heart out without having to worry about performing, and because I don't think people (and Cikgu Hassan?) would appreciate a bunch of electronic noises while munching off their lamb chops lol.

yang ni pun boleh tahan, tapi kena interrupt kejap. what the eff korang tak bagitau aku jien lee main piano

Speaking of lamb chops, the food was AWESOME! Definitely worth RM80. Wished I had bigger stomach though, I only managed to eat one round of everything. There were lamb chops, baked macaroni, dory fish in tartar sauce (?), some cheesy potato thing, mixed vegetables, soto, pineapple and chicken salad, garden salad with coleslaw, bread n butter (super keras tapi sedap), blackcurrant and peach pudding, brownies, cheese cakes, apa lagi tak ingat kot. Sampai sekarang terngiang-ngiang lamb chop tu. I love western-tinged buffets like that.

takde gambar makanan, but enjoy the photo of me with my tablemates

Because it was Grammy-themed, the committee decided to give out a few awards to deserving students and lecturers. There were awards for the most innocent, stylo, talented, hot, Mr. and Ms AUSMAT and happy go lucky students, and the most popular and favourite lecturers. There were also a special award for Suria, the main person behind the awesome event, as well as the awards for best dressed peeps. I was nominated for Talented and Stylo, but of course I was not talented and stylo enough (talented = pandai nyanyi and main instruments, aku nyanyi tak sedap and the only instrument I play is FL Studio 9. Stylo = trendy coordinations using trendy brand items. Lolita is not trendy and BTSSB is not a trendy brand XD). Takpelah, tak kisah part tu, it's a popularity contest anyway and I'm not popular. But one thing though. How come Jepa dapat Most Talented Guy??? Jawab aku, jawab cepat.

By the way, look at the girl winning the Best Dressed award for the night, Salehana.

HEBAT!

The highlight of the event was a candlelight vigil ceremony (lol) for the lecturers. Lights were killed, everybody sat anxiously in the dark, before us candle bearers went in and surround the lecturers table with candlelights. Gave them roses and gifts, and let them blow out the candles. I didn't realize this one, but by that time people were actually crying, suddenly flooded with the memories from the past 1.5 years. The hard work, the perspirations, the tears, the significant moments, all wrapped into one night. Haha, okay I'm going to stop with that here, I'm not good at describing memories with words XD.

Before I forgot, we received our yearbook that night. The birth of my beloved child. The Yearbook Committee's pride and joy. I was proud to be a part of the yearbook team, as one of the graphic designers. Was even prouder when Prof Bib praised our efforts in front of everyone. "This is the original Facebook", she said. Kudos to my man Hong Seng for making it a success.

So yeah, grand dinner was grandiose, no doubt. The best ever in my life (haha, gaya macam pernah attend banyak grand dinner je doh). I shall cherish the memories of AUSMAT till the rest of my life.

Turns out, despite all those whines about the 'most difficult preparation program in INTEC' here, I found myself missing AUSMAT already. Well, missing the memories, certainly not the assignments and tests and quizzes. Hope my undergraduate years will be as awesome, if not better. Marilah Otago!

p/s: almost all photos were stolen from Suria. Some of them are mine, and my tagged photos

p/p/s: Illawong is the best!