I always thought that guys don't have the emotional capability to love another person. After romantically involved with several guys throughout my life, I came to the conclusion that among these XY chromosome possessors, love simply exists in the form of lust. What other explanation do I have, after knowing several guys who demanded sex from me, and harassed by several others? Although I realize that my statement here is severely biased, I still can't see how that very idea of love can be applied to a guy. Even if lust does not take place here, how can a species associated with dominance, assertiveness, strength and ego could give in to something as gentle as love? When you say you love a particular girl, do you love her because she's beautiful, or because she stirs up something on your groin, or because she loves you first? Or for some other reasons I might fail to see? For guys in their teenage/ young adult years, what makes you willing to say "I love you" to a girl when you are still unsure of your own future? Do you say so because your peers challenged you to go and confess to her? Some sort of game among your guy friends, to see who can tackle the most number of girls? To avoid yourself from being left out because everybody has a girlfriend or two already?
To girls my age who are 'in love': was it really love? How can you be so sure? It could be merely loneliness, or jealousy. You may simply want someone to understand your thoughts and your emotions, or someone to be your conversation partner, perhaps. For all I know, you don't need a boyfriend in your life for that. Most of the time, XY Homo sapiens are terrible when it comes to understanding girls and stuffs. I effin know very well, I could relate to girls my age when it comes to this. Being girls, there would be moments when we simply feel like having someone to 'fill the emptiness in our heart', whatever that means. That's not freaking 'love'. That's something else.
It baffles me how people who are practically teenagers could utter those three sacred words to their 'significant others' so easily. When you say you 'love' someone, it means so much more than sending morning messages, going out for dates, having romantic conversations on MSN/Skype, exchanging gifts every once in a while, stuffs young couples always do. Loving someone means you would sacrifice yourself for that someone, even when you have to die in the process. How could you possibly do that to a person who's practically a stranger in your life? A person whom you have just known for several weeks/months/years? I won't do that, personally. That would be too bizarre.
One more thing. If mutual feelings are required in a relationship, how can two persons possibly fall in love with each other at the same time? I mean, how can A fall in love with B at exactly the same time when B falls in love with A? Wouldn't the probability be so small? From what I've been observing, a romantic relationship usually starts with someone 'falling helplessly in love' with a person, who later agrees to be his/her lover. If that's the case, don't you think it will practically be a one-sided love? When you say yes to a guy's proposal to make you his girlfriend, were you in love with him at the first place, or do you simply say yes because you don't want to break his heart? Because you were thrilled to finally have someone confessing his love to you (as in my case)? Because you were lonely and want to have someone to 'fill that emptiness in your heart'?
I have never been in love, so I may not be the right person to write something like this. No, having a crush on someone is not freakin love. That's infatuation, and infatuation won't last long. I haven't been to the point where I could sacrifice myself for a freakin XY Homo sapiens. But I'm curious, you know, to hear something from people who claim to be in love/have been in love. So please, answer me. I need to know.
Don't you effin misconstrue me or anything. I am not desperate/being extra androphobic/have given up hope on love. I just want to know.
Alice
5 comments:
That was nice..I really need to listen to this kind of speech, it sorta give me a slap in the face, ya know..hahaha..
dokter chenta
Hehe. Quite a question that is. For someone like me (a quasi
misanthrope), it is something I ponder every once in a while.
Nonetheless the romantic in me clings to this; "To love, is to burn." Just depends on what sort of fire. Mostly though, I feel that this is bs. The notion within it is pretty, but false.
Anyway, you're being 'lovers' specific right? IMHO it doesn't exist. It is but a mirage. This perceived 'Love' is mere 'Limerence'.
After all, isn't true Love only of the divine kind? Not the wishy washy "love is divine" ladida but literally. Love for God.
And even that, I believe few has actually been blessed with. What I'm really getting at is, Love, its most pure and beatific form, is EXCEPTIONAL.
A lesser, more common variant of 'Love' would probably be parent-child, of friends. Y'know, platonic, simple. Maybe 'affection'
is a better word. Maternal love is something entirely different though, don't you think? Most definitely closest to the divine sort. Heaven is said to be beneath a Mother's sole anyway aite.
I've veered off your 'lovers'-centric question. Darn. I've probably read too much of Rumi's poems. He is the master of putting 'Love' into words. Ah well.
Hi. I did wonder about the same thing too.
Frankly speaking, I don't believe love-at-the-first-sight. Normally it starts with 'I like you, you like me too, let's start a relationship'. Love comes when the two persons take the relationship seriously, respect and appreciate each other, working hand-in-hand to maintain a good and happy relationship. They would wanna make each other happy, and care for each other. I think love just comes and develops slowly and naturally, no one can force love to exist in a relationship. :)
interesting thought. :)
I use to be preoccupied with the question about love long time ago too. But, I learn over time and I understand now, what is worth loving and struggling for. :)
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