kalau boleh jangan jalan sorang2, lelaki gile seks berada di mane2

I went to PC Fair today at Persada. Supposed to go with my bro, but since he's going with his friends by car, I had to go alone. There's no way I'm going to get in the same car with a bunch of fifteen-year-old boys. Actually, it should sound like this: there's no way I'm going to get in the same car with some strangers, be it male or female. I have mild xenophobia. Sorry. Anyhoo, I went there, giving my best fake smile of declination to the ravaging broadband promoters, circled the exhibition hall four or five times, visiting every booths more than twice in an attempt to 'compare the prices of things' (you know that's my hobby despite me being a compulsive buyer), and ended up buying a RM28 cooling pad, CD-RWs and a peculiar note book thing which looked (and smelled!) like chocolate. Total: RM40. Didn't buy RAM for Kiki, coz I forgot to check her specs. Kang men beli jek kang koma Kiki aku. Oh tidak.

Then as usual I went to City Square, having lack of better things to do. Went to MPH and bought myself some Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales Collection (inspired by last week's Supernatural. I need some gory, sexual, grotesquely freaky fairy tales among my collection of vampire romance). Saw a nice hardcover Alice that came with a cute White Rabbit necklace, but I already have my hardcover Alice. I need Through The Looking-Glass (MY BIRTHDAY WISH! INGAT TU!). Had my lunch at Summer (they serve the best rice burgers ever!) and played DDP. I dunno, when in [improper, ita-ish] lolita I felt compelled to play DDP. Of course I brought attention, but that's part of life wearing lacey, frilly, massively bell-shaped dresses. Whatever.

But that's not the worst part beb. It happened right after I went out from Innercity. As I was walking this particular jantan in yellow t-shirt walked VERY NEAR me, pretending to warn me about some wet floor ahead. I ignored him, and just walked away. After a few steps I noticed that he was following me, so I stopped and changed my direction. I thought that I was safe, but no.

(the following will be written in BM coz I express myself i.e. curse better in my mother tongue)

Aku perasan yang die dok ikot jek aku eventhough aku dah tukar direction, so aku jalan la cepat-cepat pegi escalator, n aku sengaje selit2 tengah2 org ramai. And hey whaddayaknow, die pon kejar aku n selambe jek berdiri kat sebelah aku kat escalator tu. RAPAT NAK MAMPUS. Aku ingat die berani wat setakat tu jek, so aku still ignore die. Muke pon aku x pandang. Betape terkezutnye aku bile die kuarkan henpon die pastu men hulur2 kat aku. Baru aku perasan yang die narnye try nak amek gambo aku ngan die. WHAT THE FUCK??!!!! Dahla dekat nak mampus!! Sial! Aku punye darah memang dah menyirap tahap gaban n without further thinking aku shove die sekuat ati n jerit "FUCK!!!". Aku ingat die nak lari ke hape, tp he still had the nerve to say "Janganla marah dik". MOTHERFUCKER BTOL LAH!!! Ade 2 orang akak kat depan aku, n bile diorang dengar aku jerit tu diorang pandang belakang n pastu geleng2 kepale. AKU PULAK YANG KENE! Gaknye diorang pikir aku ngah gadoh ngan bf . WTF GILE. Turun jek dr escalator aku trus lari gi tempat orang yg ramai gile n disappear from his sight. Aku lari sampai kuar dr City Square. Gi bas pun aku lari. Bangsat punye jantan.

I do regret not doing anything worse than shouting fuck, though. Like, I can take his phone and smash it to the ground floor (I was at the fourth floor) or even push him down the fourth floor, but for some reasons I DIDN'T DO IT. And somehow I forgot to bring my knife; if I do bring it I could straight away slash his face, or stab him on his stomach, or slit his wrist. Why the fuck did I not do it. Fucker. AAAARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Next time I'm walking alone, I won't forget to bring my knife. I need to buy a new one, a bigger one maybe, like the one I once used to cut myself like ikan kembung. That one was massive, and could scare away any possible harassing sex maniacs. Yeah. My God, I desperately need an ouji to protect me. I'm sick of being harassed by those bastards.

Oh, for the record, I wore all-black today. Nothing sexual about me really - no big boobs or butts, the only skin I showed was on my face (I didn't even show the skin on my hands coz I was wearing gloves). I dunno if those bastards considered my petticoats underneath my OP as my butts. Shit.

lelaki ade yg xgune... ade, not all

Klaha yang suke kucing ialah satu contoh lelaki gentleman yang tidak tergolong dalam golongan tak gune tu

sorang adik form 1 0913 (yg aku xkenal pon) tanye aku "Akak rase umur brape sesuai kapel?"

aku cakap kat die "High school ni xyahla kapel2 dik oi... guys are not serious in their relationship during high school...diorang bese nak main2 jek, or nak merasa, or nak ade 'title', or hormonal drive. "

dan die pun reply, "Ooooo..."

budak2 zaman sekarang. Sekolah rendah pun dah kapel (aku la tuhhh :P)

Dulu aku fikir kapel tu mesti best. Ape yang best aku tak tau. Mebe rase disayangi kot.

Tapi lepas kapel ngan 3 orang losers, I quit.

And I made a conclusion that teenage years are not the time to be in a relationship.

Aku malas nak bitching2 sal my previous bfs, sbab one of them dh kne belasah habis kat dalam blog aku ni (kat sini). But yeah, somehow I always end up with the wrong persons. Yang not straight la, yang overly obsessed la, yang playboy la, yang curik motor la. Desperate la katekan. Guys yang aku suke xpernah la return my love. Aku tunjuk cmane pon still xpaham2. Kadang2 rase diri ni sangatlah gedik n hegeh. Pastu ade yg macam ade tanda2, tp last2 aku yg perasan lebey.

Then we have random male strangers. Orang yang aku tak kenal pon tp suke make my life miserable. Contohnye mamat2 loser yang ntah dari mane tetibe suit2 aku ('suit' itu ialah slang bagi catcall) bile nampak aku jalan sorang2. Or makhluk2 yang bawak lori/bas/kereta/traktor yang tetibe hon cipan punye kuat diikuti dgn the said suit2 mase aku nak lintas jalan. Or setan2 yang cube pecah rumah aku tyme aku darjah 6 sbb nak 'baham' aku tape terpakse berputih mata sbb tyme tu aku xde kat rumah. Dasar __________ btol ah (insert expletives here).

And that actually made me become slightly androphobic. All male strangers are capable of inflicting harm towards me - Subconscious told me that. Sebab tu la kalo aku kuar sorang2 aku memang tak tinggal ah gunting/pisau/jarum/paku/racun/pepper spray kat dalam beg aku. Or make myself look terrifying, like a vampire ke. Pakai sumer hitam. Pakai eyeliner tebal2. Up to the point of wearing black lipstick. And sengaje wat pisau/gunting/etc aku visible. Ape2 saje asalkan I'm not being bothered. Kadang2 that androphobia terbawak2 dlm social life. "Oh, mamat ni saje nak test aku ni gedik/murah/cikaro ke tak. Baik jangan layan." Macam tu lah.

Sometimes I hope I live in an era where guys have immense chivalry/gallantry. Sangat malang la aku sbb dalam abad ke-21 ni, chivalry is dead. Susah nak carik guy yang btol2 gentleman, kalo ade pon gentle man ade la. Nak carik yang aristocrat type macam, er, Klaha-sama (aku dh hilang idea nk bg contoh sape. PEOPLE PLS DUN SUGGEST EDWARD CULLEN!!!) sungguh datukla susah. Kadang2 aku risau cmane nnti bile aku kahwin. Laki aku nanti mcm yg aku nak ke tak. Dapat yang hormat pompuan ke, or yang jenis juara sepak terajang anak bini (flaming over drama malam Ahad hari tu)? Kang tak kahwin kang aku ni.

Sebab tu la kot, for the time being, I'll just stick to my Raphael. Walaupun die mmg xwujud (boleh jdk wujud...aku jek lom jumpe die), at least he's better than many guys out there. Ntahla. Tengoklah nanti yek aku kahwin ngan sape. Tp skarang ni aku memang xde niat nak kapel, sebab buang mase. Buang kredit, buang air mata. I'm not a lovey-dovey type. Selagi ko belum jadik laki aku, ko still stranger dlm idop aku. Xde keje aku nak komited kat ko ke, pujuk2 ko ke, call2 ko slalu ke, tanye ko dh makan ke blom ke <---- sbb tu org takut nk jdk bf aku kot

Wait. Somebody pls tell me nape aku tulis ni at da first place?