23 October

This post is for my friend, one of my best ones, the coolest person I've ever known personally in my whole life. She whose unique insights on life changed those of my own, whose myriads of wonderful books expanded my reading list, whose exquisite taste in music enriched mine, whose talent and passion for art never failed to amaze me, whose beautiful poetries cheered me up and made me wonder, whose patience with my immature antics made me learn, whose sincere help brought me out of misery at times when I didn't know who else can I turn to, whose genuine friendship rekindled my hope. She whose 20th birthday is today.

Happy birthday dear Leana. Age is not just a number, it is also Experience, Maturity and Wisdom. May Allah bless you always, and in everything that you do. Sucks that I didn't get to give you a handwritten letter, but I got Julian to write something for you. Hope that will suffice :P See you this summer :D

revamp

A two-month long hiatus broken with a post about the said hiatus. How meta.

Blog is revamped, because that's what I usually do every time I came back from a hiatus. Not content with needing to manage two separate blogs, I now have a tumblr. What better thing to do on a quiet Friday night than scrolling through 43 pages on my dashboard and reblogging the hell out of Cute Boys with Cats? (They have Dave Franco!!!)

It's spring now in Dunedin, which is the awesomest, because spring is my favourite season. That's not entirely true though, because I like winter even more - you get to wear your loveliest winter coats, and see gorgeous guys wearing blazers and vampiric long coats. Eh. Also, if you're lucky, you get to experience snow. Thank Allah, I am one of them lucky ones - it snowed twice here in Dunedin.

Snow fight!

Ah, I miss winter. I might be complaining about the temperature all the time, but at least I could experience things that I could only dream of. Now that the temperature's getting hotter, I have to ditch my coats and blazers aside. I often found myself going out feeling naked because I'm so used to having an extra layer of clothing over my usual jeans and t-shirt combo.  But then, Allah gave me something even better - a chance to witness thousands of flowers blooming before my very eyes.

pics by Linda. I forgot to transfer mine.

The flowers are just beginning to bloom, so at this point there's not much of them save for some lovely rhododendrons, sakura (which are very short-lived and are getting lesser and lesser day by day), daffodils (a whole field of them!) and other random flowers we found at the Botanic Gardens. We're still waiting for tulips and roses - I think by the time we finish our final exams, they'll be blooming like crazy and Dunedin will be much more colourful. I can't wait.

Social relationship-wise, I made new friends, which is always a good thing. I'm still trying to polish my conversational English, although I do still stutter quite a lot. And I get to talk to poi girl! At last! Hahaha. I was doing five-beat weave aimlessly in front of Clocktower one sunny afternoon when she suddenly approached me and asked where did I get my poi. Got some cool new moves from her as well. 

Talk about poi, meet my Cheshire Poi, Bella and Belly :D

So yeah, I guess that's it. It's 12.35 am now and I need to go to sleep. If I don't update for the next couple of months, you can always visit me on my tumblr. I've got lots of psychedelic pictures there, they're good for your eyes hahaha. Till next time.

Alice

New wishlist (in no particular order)

1. Shpongle!!!
2. A pair of LED poi.
3. If that's too expensive, a pair of psychedelic striped poi
4. PiHKAL
5. LSD My Problem Child
6. Some Bodyline stuffs, especially this bag
7. Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming
8. A new mp3 player, preferably 4GB coz my 4-year-old one buat hal
9. Something decent from Dream of Lolita (I'm still drooling over Melty Chocolate btw)
10. A dreamcatcher
11. Psychedelic tapestries :D
12. Lovely cotton fabric, like these
13. Any kind of cotton as long as I can make a dress out of it
14. Yardley English Rose. It's been long since I use that
15. A loliable black blouse
16. A loliable anything. Preferably classic/aristocrat stuffs
17. A gorgeous coat. One that reminds me of Moi-meme-Moitie. Perhaps something like this or this
18. A mini sewing machine
19. Hippie chic jewelleries & clothing
20. Can I ask for Isaac here? XDDDDDD
21. More rings! Hahahahaha
22. A make up set
23. Melatonin + choline + B6 pills for my dreams
24. A new dream journal. Yang lama dah nak penuh
25. All A's for this sem. Get into Pharmacy School. Failing that, get into Pharmtox Department
26. More shoes
27. I need my 10 lucid dreams per month back
28. Supply of legal psychoactives. Pseudoephedrine. Salvia (lol jk!)
29. DJ set
30. Digital camera
31. As usual, Raphael.

I get what I want. Insya-Allah. (Including that Raphael part hahaha!)

Alice

Bersihkah?

I personally think both sides overreacted. If it was meant to be a peaceful rally, treat it as so - there's no need for people to flood the streets making KL look like freakin Thailand. Siap baju kuning baju merah semua. For all I know a peaceful rally is not supposed to look like what I saw on my news feed last Saturday/Sunday. You don't bring weapons on a peaceful rally, that defeats the whole purpose. And triggers unnecessary action from the authorities.

And what's with the excessive number of police force employed as if there's a war going on, deploying water cannon and tear gas and all? You guys are not Israeli soldiers! This is not Palestine! For God's sake itu semua tak perlu, unless people began to act violently, bakar2 kereta pecah2 kedai semua like the riot in Vancouver.

And with that much people you would expect there would be sufficient medical help around in case of emergency. I don't know if it's otherwise (Bersih supporters chose not to portray the good side of the 'riot control'? Who knows?), but from what I've been observing through videos and news, that's not the case. Someone even died in the rally after receiving late medical treatment post-tear gas exposure. Please tell me if I'm wrong.

Why can't people pick a group of people large enough to get the message across, but small enough so as to avoid triggering panic-induced actions by the authorities? A few hundred is enough. Assign several police to monitor the rally, just in case. You don't have to gather police from all over Malaysia to control them, itu sangat menyusahkan semua orang termasuk polis sendiri. I didn't say that a rally/street protests/whatever you might call it is a bad way to make your voice heard - Mahatma Gandhi also employed this method, and it was successful - but if you are going to make one, at least make it properly. Properly, true to what people claim it to be - a peaceful rally.

Or was it just impossible to be done? Malaysians are too rebellious to do anything in control? Authorities are too paranoid to let people's voice be heard (especially one that involves things like 'SPR', 'pilihanraya', 'telus' and 'adil')? I know that similar rallies under the same name had been done in different countries last Saturday, but I am yet to hear reports of violence/ things getting out of control like what happened in Malaysia.

And should EVERY single movement in this country be affiliated with political parties and specific ethnicities? Maybe we are so accustomed to obsessed with fighting under the name of 'Melayu/Cina/India etc' and 'BN/PAS/DAP/Keadilan etc' that every other things we fight for must have connections with these. Bersih was supposed to be a neutral rally, away from the controls of specific political parties, be it Opposition or Government or whatever. What was supposed to be a movement for a clean election had morphed into a battle of the races, not to mention a battle between BN supporters and Pakatan Rakyat supporters. Just keep scrolling down. Malaysians, are we that narrow? Remember 13 May?

I may not be able to witness everything first hand, but I do know one thing - don't bother dreaming about Bersih 3.0 if you still don't know what's the real definition of a 'peaceful rally'. Don't bother having another Bersih rally until you have trained yourself to be more civilised. DON'T EVER attend a rally just for the sake of being rebellious. That's just stupid.

If everybody stop themselves from overreacting, Malaysia would be a much nicer place to live. This applies for both sides, the people and the government.

Alice

KEEP CALM AND...

In Shpongleland, there is no invasion. Everyone is interconnected through an invisible thread of cosmic unity, there's no reason for an invasion to take place. Should there be any, though, we carry on and do what we do best - getting Shpongled. One of the ways to enhance your Shpongling experience is by smoking DMT, because it's Simon's favourite. HAHAHA.

Click here for history, and here for more ways to keep calm. Of course, getting Shpongled is still the best option.

Credits to Leana for the ideas behind the poster and the whole blog post itself (I'm making a parody of her post! XDDDD)

Alice

why do people fall in love

I've been wanting to ask this question for a very very long time, but I just didn't know to whom should I ask. Definitely not my mom, coz I don't share lovey dovey stuffs like this with my family members. Why do people fall in love? How can people love each other? What makes a person willing to devote their everything for a particular person? (Note: for convenience purposes, 'love' in this entry refers to romantic love, that feeling towards a person you barely know for how many years or even less than that, not maternal love whatsoever)

I always thought that guys don't have the emotional capability to love another person. After romantically involved with several guys throughout my life, I came to the conclusion that among these XY chromosome possessors, love simply exists in the form of lust. What other explanation do I have, after knowing several guys who demanded sex from me, and harassed by several others? Although I realize that my statement here is severely biased, I still can't see how that very idea of love can be applied to a guy. Even if lust does not take place here, how can a species associated with dominance, assertiveness, strength and ego could give in to something as gentle as love? When you say you love a particular girl, do you love her because she's beautiful, or because she stirs up something on your groin, or because she loves you first? Or for some other reasons I might fail to see? For guys in their teenage/ young adult years, what makes you willing to say "I love you" to a girl when you are still unsure of your own future? Do you say so because your peers challenged you to go and confess to her? Some sort of game among your guy friends, to see who can tackle the most number of girls? To avoid yourself from being left out because everybody has a girlfriend or two already?

To girls my age who are 'in love': was it really love? How can you be so sure? It could be merely loneliness, or jealousy. You may simply want someone to understand your thoughts and your emotions, or someone to be your conversation partner, perhaps. For all I know, you don't need a boyfriend in your life for that. Most of the time, XY Homo sapiens are terrible when it comes to understanding girls and stuffs. I effin know very well, I could relate to girls my age when it comes to this. Being girls, there would be moments when we simply feel like having someone to 'fill the emptiness in our heart', whatever that means. That's not freaking 'love'. That's something else.

It baffles me how people who are practically teenagers could utter those three sacred words to their 'significant others' so easily. When you say you 'love' someone, it means so much more than sending morning messages, going out for dates, having romantic conversations on MSN/Skype, exchanging gifts every once in a while, stuffs young couples always do. Loving someone means you would sacrifice yourself for that someone, even when you have to die in the process. How could you possibly do that to a person who's practically a stranger in your life? A person whom you have just known for several weeks/months/years? I won't do that, personally. That would be too bizarre.

One more thing. If mutual feelings are required in a relationship, how can two persons possibly fall in love with each other at the same time? I mean, how can A fall in love with B at exactly the same time when B falls in love with A? Wouldn't the probability be so small? From what I've been observing, a romantic relationship usually starts with someone 'falling helplessly in love' with a person, who later agrees to be his/her lover. If that's the case, don't you think it will practically be a one-sided love? When you say yes to a guy's proposal to make you his girlfriend, were you in love with him at the first place, or do you simply say yes because you don't want to break his heart? Because you were thrilled to finally have someone confessing his love to you (as in my case)? Because you were lonely and want to have someone to 'fill that emptiness in your heart'?

I have never been in love, so I may not be the right person to write something like this. No, having a crush on someone is not freakin love. That's infatuation, and infatuation won't last long. I haven't been to the point where I could sacrifice myself for a freakin XY Homo sapiens. But I'm curious, you know, to hear something from people who claim to be in love/have been in love. So please, answer me. I need to know.

Don't you effin misconstrue me or anything. I am not desperate/being extra androphobic/have given up hope on love. I just want to know.

Alice

it's holiday, holiday, gotta get down on holiday!

TIME TO UNLEASH REBECCA!

too bad the video was removed, though.

I have 3 weeks of holiday. I swear I won't do anything academic during my holiday (besides my usual lucid dreaming/psychoactive drugs researches maybe). In the meantime, I have another list. I love making lists, it makes me feel more organised. #yeahright

Alice's List of Things to Do During a 3-Week Long Holiday (in no particular order)

1. Sew one two freakin lolita dresses!!! Buy sewing stuffs, Google up tutorials, draft patterns. Sew a petticoat.
2. Learn at least 10 new poi tricks from this guy by the end of the holiday. Buy/make one proper sock poi. (you wanna buy this for my un-birthday? It's a bargain!)
3. Get back into lucid dreaming. Haven't got one for 2 weeks already, and I can't even blame pseudoephedrine this time. Also, resume writing in dream journal. Poor guy got abandoned for almost 2 weeks, too bad.
4. Spend all day in secondhand bookstores. Scribes is a warm and cozy place to be at this winter.
5. Start writing The Maya Dream (my writing project, ideas courtesy of Leana. Planning to write a dream journal-like novella).
6. Finish up abandoned artwork and start on new ones.
   it's psylocybe as in PSYlocybe. :P
   
   
7. Trip to Cadbury World. A must!
8. Trip to the beach, perhaps. Tunnel Beach maybe.
9. Trip to Oamaru. I don't wanna spend the whole holiday stuck in Dunedin.
10. Finish up reading The Psychedelic Experience, Art of Dreaming (and other Castaneda books I abandoned), DMT: The Spirit Molecule (still hasn't arrived).
11. Watch movies and TV series. Medical Investigations is awesome.
12. Lolita photoshoot at the Botanic Gardens. :D
13. Shopping spree! Savemart shopping spree!
14. Bake something. Or, try new recipes. What? I do love cooking! More so when it comes to cooking stuffs I love to eat, like weird Indian curries and French stuffs. Potato gratin sounds simple; maybe I'll start with that.
15. Make a new song. I accidentally got a new song while frying my hash brown last night, but I didn't record it so I've lost it already. Grrr.
16. Post Leana's On The Road. Heeeeeee sorry for the delay XP

Let's just hope I won't end up abandoning this list and spend the whole 3 weeks glued to the computer, scrolling through Memebase instead.

Alice